Coping with grief: tips and resources for getting through the loss of a loved one

Bereavement is a complex and painful process that everyone goes through differently. Faced with the loss of a loved one, it’s normal to feel a great emptiness and many emotions. In this article, I offer advice and resources to help you cope with grief, get through this difficult ordeal and gradually regain balance in your life.

Understanding the stages of grief

Grief is a multi-stage process, although each person experiences it differently and at his or her own pace. It’s essential to recognize and accept the different stages of grief, so that you can work through and overcome them.

The five stages of grief

According to psychologist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, grief can be broken down into five main stages:

1. Denial: This first stage is a protective reaction to the reality of the loss. The person refuses to believe that their loved one has died, and may experience a sense of unreality.
2. Anger: Feelings of injustice and frustration are often expressed through anger. It’s important to allow this emotion to express itself, to prevent it from becoming destructive.
3. Negotiation: In this stage, the bereaved person seeks a compromise or exchange with a higher entity (God, the universe…) to alleviate their suffering or reunite them with their loved one.
4. Depression: This phase corresponds to an awareness of the reality of the loss and its consequences. Sadness, loneliness and despair can be intense.
5. Acceptance: The final stage of the grieving process is acceptance of the reality of the loss and absence of the loved one. The grieving person learns to live with this absence and gradually rebuild his or her life.

It’s important to note that these steps are not linear, and can be navigated non-sequentially.

Welcoming and expressing emotions

Grief is often accompanied by a multitude of emotions: sadness, anger, guilt, anxiety, despair… Accepting and expressing these emotions is essential to the grieving process.

Accepting your emotions

It’s important to recognize and accept your feelings about grief. Emotions are natural and healthy; they enable us to fully experience the grieving process and rebuild our lives. Don’t judge your emotions, but welcome them.

Expressing your emotions

Expressing your emotions is essential to freeing them and overcoming them. Talking about your feelings to someone close to you, writing in a diary, crying, shouting, practicing an artistic activity (painting, music…) are all ways of expressing your emotions and moving forward in the grieving process.

Find support in a network

At this difficult time, it’s important to surround yourself with people who understand, support and help you through the grieving process.

Family and friends

Family and friends are often the first people to turn to for support. Don’t hesitate to talk about your emotions, share your memories and cry together. Mutual support and listening can be a great comfort.

Support groups and professionals

There are specific support groups for the bereaved, led by professionals or volunteers. These groups enable you to share your emotions, questions and experiences with other people going through bereavement.

Mental health professionals (psychologists, psychiatrists, therapists, etc.) can also be a great help in accompanying a bereaved person through the reconstruction process.

Taking care of your physical and mental health

Bereavement can have a major impact on physical and mental health. So it’s essential to take care of yourself during this difficult period.

Adopt a healthy lifestyle

Make sure you eat a balanced diet, exercise regularly, sleep well and avoid excess alcohol, tobacco and medication.

Take time for yourself

Give yourself moments of relaxation, leisure and pleasure to recharge your batteries and help you cope with grief. Meditating, reading, listening to music, walking in nature, sharing convivial moments with loved ones are all activities that can help you take care of yourself.

Helping a child through bereavement

Children also experience bereavement, although they express their emotions differently from adults. It’s important to support them and offer them a secure, caring environment to help them through this ordeal.

Communicating with the child

Talk openly with your child about the loss and his or her emotions. Explain to them what grief is and the stages they may go through. Encourage him to express his feelings and ask questions.

Maintain a reassuring routine

Maintain a daily routine to provide your child with a safe and reassuring environment. Take care to preserve moments of relaxation and leisure, as well as family and school milestones.

Call in professionals

If you find that your child is having difficulty coping with his or her grief, despite your support and attentiveness, don’t hesitate to consult a psychologist who specializes in helping bereaved children.

Give yourself time and indulge yourself

The grieving process is long and complex, and it’s important to give yourself time to fully experience it. Be indulgent with yourself and accept moments of fragility, sadness or anger.

Accept that mourning takes time

There is no set length of time for mourning. Each person progresses at his or her own pace, and it’s essential to respect this rhythm if you are to rebuild and regain balance in your life.

Cultivate kindness towards yourself

Be kind to yourself during this difficult period. Accept your emotions and moments of weakness, and don’t hesitate to ask for help when you feel the need.

In conclusion, it’s important to remember that grief is an individual and unique process, and that it’s important to give yourself the time, space and support you need to get through it and rebuild.

The different types of grief

It’s important to recognize that grief can take many different forms and involve many different situations. Understanding the different types of bereavement can help us to better understand and cope with them.

Classic” grief

Classic” grief is the loss of a loved one through death. This is the type of bereavement most commonly experienced and discussed in this article.

Anticipatory grief

Anticipatory bereavement occurs when a loved one is known to be terminally ill, or in a situation where death is imminent. This type of grief can be complex, combining feelings of preparation for the loss and hope that it will pass.

White mourning

White mourning is experienced in the face of the loss of a loved one who is still alive, but whose relationship is broken or altered (e.g. Alzheimer’s disease, divorce, family conflict…). This is a form of grief that is often misunderstood and difficult to accept, as the bereaved person has to cope with an absence without any real separation.

Perinatal bereavement

Perinatal bereavement concerns the loss of a child before, during or shortly after birth. It is often accompanied by a sense of injustice and particularly painful mourning for the parents.

Rituals and symbols for coping with grief

Rituals and symbols can play an important role in helping the bereaved cope with loss and regain balance in their lives.

Funerals and memorial ceremonies

Funerals and memorial ceremonies provide an opportunity to pay tribute to the deceased and share sadness and memories with loved ones. These moments are essential to begin the grieving process and to feel supported in this ordeal.

Symbolic objects and places

Symbolic objects and places associated with the deceased can help to maintain a link with him or her, and to feel his or her presence. They can also help you express your emotions and remember shared moments.

Anniversary dates

Anniversary dates (anniversaries of death, birth, marriage, etc.) can be particularly difficult and emotional times for the bereaved. Commemorating them can help maintain a link with the deceased and recall the happy times spent together.

Accepting change and rebuilding

Coping with bereavement involves accepting change and rebuilding oneself, both personally and in terms of relationships.

Redefining your identity

Bereavement can lead to a redefinition of one’s identity and roles, particularly if the deceased occupied an important place in the life of the bereaved (e.g. spouse, parent, close friend…). It’s important to take the time to rediscover and gradually rebuild oneself.

Reconnecting with life and relationships

After a period of withdrawal and contemplation, it’s essential to gradually re-engage with life and relationships. Returning to pleasurable activities, making new friends and opening up to new projects can all help to restore balance and overcome grief.

Grieving is a painful and complex experience, requiring time, patience and kindness towards oneself. Acknowledging and respecting one’s emotions, surrounding oneself with support and taking care of oneself are essential to moving forward in this process. Everyone grieves differently, and it’s important to remember that there is no “right” or “wrong” way to grieve. Ultimately, each person has to find his or her own way through and rebuild.